There’s a trope in movies and television that comes up so often I’m not sure we even notice it anymore: a woman stands in front of a mirror and uses the palms of her hands to lift her face. Usually, she furrows her brow, raising her eyebrows and eyes to where they might once have sat. It’s a quick, lazy way of telling the audience that “this woman feels humiliated.”
As a child, I never understood exactly what they were doing, these women who looked completely normal, if a little tired. Why were they crawling in their skins and looking frustrated in their efforts? But now, as I approach my 33rd birthday, I find myself looking in the mirror, making the same moves and changes, and wondering when exactly the work of gravity began and what I had to do to stop it.
Talking to Lauren recently about Amanda Holden’s performance at her daughter’s 18th birthday party got me thinking about the reflections in all those mirrors once again.
This is not the first time such allegations have been made against Holden. Last year, she was accused of ‘flaunting’ and ‘parading’ her figure during a speech about her nipples, and when asked why she was seen so often without a bra, she replied: ‘There’s nothing I can do about it.’
She said The mirror: “I’m not without a bra. The fact is I wear SKIMS [bras], but my nipples are always affected by the cold. I can’t do anything about it.
“It’s like Princess And The Pea – 20 layers down and you can still see my nipples. They see through anything. It’s like my compass. Point away, I will never be lost.’
Before that, there was similar talk about Holden’s missing pants (the actress posted a gravity-defying snap on Instagram wearing nothing but a jacket, leading some fans to ask “where are her pants”).
This was followed by a debate about the 52-year-old promotional underwear from JD Williams. The reaction on Twitter was as you’d expect. the compliments laced with embarrassing “puns” about the jewelry, and even a man who informed her that he “prefers Carol Voderman.” Others express her dismay at her gall, which is mostly undressed after her 20s. Being “inappropriate” is something she has accused of before.
So I ask myself. what do I think when I look at her, this colleague of mine, almost 20 years my senior, with her nails? I’ll be honest, my first thought is one of cynicism and maybe self-preservation: perks like an expensive personal trainer and gym membership must they helped her together.
I forgive myself for this. I grew up with magazines telling me what beauty is while being gentle with the airbrush, but ultimately the voices of those who are desperately trying to falsify a woman’s appearance more transparent he became the stronger of the two.
But my second thought? I didn’t know you could have a body like that after 50. It’s a thought I recognize from the first time I saw it 2019 movie Hustlers, in which J-Lo played a businesswoman and stripper with arguably the most incredible, toned (and mostly strong) body I’ve ever seen. He was also 50 then. My friends and I exclaimed that we couldn’t believe she could be so physically fit at this age.
Yes, tons of messages from past generations about femininity and appearance I have it reached us, and became embedded in our psyche. We can be suspicious of cosmetic surgery and respect that a woman has the right to do what she wants with her body. We know we can’t expect to look like the ones in the media because we don’t have weekly facials, a home studio, custom clothes. But these encouraging reminders have yet to be joined by someone who declares with the same conviction that age does not equal weakness or faded beauty.
Time passed, I forgot Hustlers, and Amanda’s incredible body blew me away once again. Airbrushing and means aside, both women’s bodies are bodies of hard work, sweat, dedication and discipline. I’m in awe, to be honest.
Not celebrating aging women and tearing them down for simply having the audacity to show off a beautiful and strong body comes at a cost. It damages every generation and every woman. We close ourselves up and burden ourselves with a fear we don’t need to have.
My face looks the way it does now because I’ve screamed-laughed with my best friends, stayed up to watch sunrises in hot, foreign countries, sung and danced, taken risks and failed and lived.
Aging is a privilege – it is not something to be feared. I choose to be inspired and excited by these pictures of Amanda, and not just welcome this new voice into my head, but nurture it and share it out loud. You should too.
